Nates (Natez)*

As an exercise in a writing course, the instructor handed each of us a page that she had just RIPPED out of a dictionary . Really! Our assignment was to find a word new to us and write a poem about it. I was glad to find a word I could have fun with.

Natez
Natez: a new noun I now know is plural.
You find them in places both urban and rural.
They differ in color in shape and in size
As much as our mouths or our noses or eyes.

Historically natez have had a rough time,
Most often ridiculed, rarely sublime.
Natez have oft been the butt of rude words.
There is something about them that's slightly absurd.

In Africa's heat and along the Euphrates,
You're likely to see a plethora of natez.
But here in the north where the weather is chilly,
The exposure of natez is just downright silly.

Some natez are rounded; some natez are flat.
Some dimpled and darling, some pimpled and fat.
Some natez quiver and some natez quake.
If you take them out dancing they shimmey and shake.

Some natez are naughty, most natez are not.
Most natez behave in the way that they ought.
Some natez are subject to lingering stares,
And some are the object of withering glares.

When you're playing soccer you can say to your maties,
"Come on you guys let's go out and kick natez."
Though I suppose in Quebec it would be only fair - 
Donner un coup de pied a la derriere.

A peach can be natiform, so can a plum
That's simply to say it is shaped like a bum.
My discourse on natez is over - I quit
And on my own natez I'm happy to sit.

‘m sure a writer more clever than myself could find a way to spiritualize buttocks. I think I’ll just laugh.

* A friend just called me to say she’d love to use this as a Scrabble word but couldn’t find it in her dictionary. It’s in my Oxford as nates – and I’m not sure from which version the desecrated page was taken. How horrid to think the whole poem should legitimately be corrected. I’ll let it stand – imperfect like its author.

And that my friends is THE END